HUMOR [cz. 2]

[pawel2907]

ewolucja kobiet

[daromanchester]

Dziadku,mogę zadać ci pytanie?

Czy odpowiesz dziadku na nie?

Dziadek patrzy na chłopaka

Swego wnuka rozrabiaka

Wnuczku proszę daj pytanie

A odpowiem tobie na nie

Jak to z wami dawniej było?

Pewnie ciężko wam się żyło

Internetu ty nie miałeś

I komórki nie widziałeś

Czatu dawniej też nie znałeś

I o gadu nie słyszałeś

Jak ty dziadku to zrobiłeś

Że się z babcią ożeniłeś?

Jak ją dziadku zapoznałeś

Przecież gadu ty nie miałeś

Dziadek słucha i nie wierzy

Włos mu się na głowie jeży

Myśli,myśli w końcu rzecze

Ja odpowiem ci człowiecze

Wszystko dawniej wnuczku było

Świetnie nam się wtedy żyło

Dziadku wiem,żartować lubisz

Chyba nie wiesz sam co mówisz

Wiem co mówię daję słowo

Ty smarkaczu mądra głowo

Babcia żyła w internacie

A nie w domu w starej chacie

Kiedy babcię ujrzeć chciałem

Na czatach pod szkołą stałem

A gdy babcię zobaczyłem

Gadu gadu z nią mówiłem

I komórkę wtedy miałem

Gdzie się z babcią spotykałem

Gdyby nie komórka moja

To mój wnuku babcia twoja

Pewnie sama by została

No i dzieci by nie miała

Dość już tłumaczenia mego

Nie byłoby ojca twego

Ciebie również by nie było

Powiedz jakby nam się żyło ???

[mike_05]

http://echarts.eu/a/Motto_na_dzisiaj.pps

[daromanchester]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcVRE18AOdY

[fxlamer]

Podjeżdzam na skrzyżowaniu do cudnej urody różowego Mesia a w środku.... cudnej urody 2 chłopców. No kuźwa Justiny Biebery, mój pasażer opluł szybę ze śmiechu.

[daromanchester]

Stare ale nie do zdarcia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLN9U8wNdUk

[daromanchester]

Popłakałem się ze śmiechu

I always answer my domofon in English. Ninety nine times out of a hundred it's somebody I don't know and don't want to know. When they hear English most of these people give up and go away. On this occasion it didn't work.

"Potatoes!" he bellowed. I was confused. Was this somebody who wanted potatoes, or perhaps an official potato inspection? I've had my water inspected, my gas inspected and my electricity inspected. I know potatoes are regarded as essential to life in Poland so perhaps there is a city potato inspector too. "What?" I said, eventually. "Potatoes!" he repeated, which didn't really help. I tried: "No thank you", which had the desired effect of ending the conversation. He was back the next day, by which time I had figured out that he was trying to sell me more potatoes rather than inspect my existing ones. I admit I had experimented with laying my potatoes out on the floor ready for government scrutiny.

In theory, domofons are a very good idea. They allow people outside the building to tell people inside the building that they are waiting outside. In fact they are instruments of the devil. They allow people who should be outside of the building to persuade people inside the building that they should also be inside the building. Every day at least seventeen different people ring my domofon. I thought Internet spam was bad, until I moved to Poland and discovered domofon spam.

At least fifty percent of the people trying to get into my building want to deliver leaflets. These are always offers for pizza or new windows. I've come to the conclusion that the manufacture of pizza, PVC windows and leaflets advertising pizza and PVC windows are the only things keeping the Polish economy going. There are vast factories somewhere in Silesia churning out glossy leaflets featuring people with perfect teeth, nice hair and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm for pizza and PVC windows. I get about a hundred a day. There is a big plastic shovel in my loft that I assume is meant to be used to push them over to my neighbour's door.

There is an interesting distinction between the leaflets that get dropped outside my door and the ones that get shoved into my hand on the street. At home I get leaflets for pizza and windows, on the street I get leaflets for English lessons and cheap credit. I guess the theory is that people sitting at home are hungry from all the time they spend worrying about their windows, while people walking around outside are mostly looking for English lessons so they can move to a country where you don't have to worry about windows quite so much.

Jehovah's Witnesses are another one of the main culprits. They have my building under siege. I have no idea what they are trying to achieve. The first time they knocked on my door I played my usual trick of pretending I didn't understand any Polish in the hope they would give up and go away. It didn't work. They sent a special English-speaking team a few days later. I briefly considered pretending that I could only speak Korean, but I have a horrible feeling the Korean squad would have turned up within hours. The only other people in my building are old ladies, who seem about as likely to become Jehovah's Witnesses as they do Satanists.

Amazingly the only person who never rings my domofon is the one person who is supposed to: our postman. Instead of taking the tremendous effort required to press the button and ask me to come downstairs and collect a letter that is too big for the box he always chooses to write out an awizo instead. This means a fun trip to the post office to collect my post. They always ask me “What is it?” To which I reply: “I don’t know, you people have seen more of it than I have.” Usually it’s an extra thick leaflet advertising pizza and windows.

Jamie Stokes

[mah1y]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CH4Kc7U0fU4

[daromanchester]

[Seneszal26]

Pomysłowy gość
http://i.imgur.com/3rbBp.jpg

To chyba bolało
http://i.imgur.com/wqjB5.gif

Zemsta Mario

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 3aWyGL-atA#!